And time goes on....

I've had interesting conversations with people lately. We've talked about broken promises and the idea of "forever." Often times, people fall in love "forever." My comment was that I didn't realize that "forever" was so short. The process of falling in love is so fun, innocent and youthful. The process of "falling out" isn't so fun. It's often like comment people will make about having children "nobody tells you about this stuff." I feel the same could be said for being in love and losing that love. Nobody tells you of the pain and hurt that one feels when that happens. Nobody tells you about the process of rebuilding that takes place after this. But looking back, everyone goes through that process differently and any "tips" may not have been welcome at the time.
So...I am through the "falling out" and am through the rebuilding. I am feeling more confident in myself and in my independence. I have a friend who is divorced and a little older than me who wrote me this the other day:
"Being single at any age can be difficult, it is a matter of defining it differently for yourself. You have your life, you have friends, you have a decent job, you do fun things……..you're not dating now because you're selective. If it was a matter of having a date – both of us would be with someone right now. You have gotten to the point earlier than most, where you don’t NEED a man to have self esteem, you want someone that is an equal."
Needless to say, I'm ready. So we'll see what happens. I am being selective, but I think that's okay.

Dating in the world of single people

I have been the worst blogger lately. I have so much going on and so much I want to share and then I just get busy again. I was off last week on Thursday and Friday (a MUCH needed break from work) and I went to Country USA which is a country festival about 30 min. from my apartment. I had gone before and whether you like country music or not, many people just enjoy the tailgating, camping, and other things about the festival. It was a great time and the best part was I got to spend the weekend with my best friend who came!!!We definitely had some interesting experiences along the way, and we didn't want the weekend to end, but it was a great time! We went to see "Sex and the City" too and I didn't want the movie to end. I've heard some negative things about it, but I was really impressed how smooth of a transition from tv to a movie it was. It was great!

Prior to that weekend, I had gone to another Brewer game and had great seats. I saw my favorite player, Ryan Braun, stretching and warming up below, and went down to get some great shots. That was definitely fun and it was great to see him so close. I swear, we are getting married, he just doesn't know it yet!

So being single has its perks, and I will be the first one to say that, but sometimes it would be nice to have someone. Even just someone to call up and have come over to watch a movie or talk to on the phone for a while. I miss those parts. I miss the going out to dinner or a movie or just sitting around talking. I definitely feel I am ready to date again, I just haven't found anyone that I've felt like dating. I will admit that I am rarely home and when I am, I am too tired to do much of anything. I will also admit that I haven't really "put myself out there" to find anyone. I don't want a guy I meet at a bar. I haven't given up by any means, I'm just discouraged. I was talking with a friend/co-worker today who was talking about having tried internet dating. Now, I have absolutely nothing against anyone who does that, but it's just not for me. I would feel weird about it and just would never have the desire to do that. She gave up after meeting too many weird/creepy guys. So...Mr. Prince Charming I am sure is out there...but like a typical man, he is probably lost and too stubborn to ask for directions to even get to me!

What the heck do you say then?

5 Things Never to Say on a First Date
Posted by David Zinczenko
on Fri, Apr 27, 2007, 1:53 pm PDT

We all know that first dates are the ultimate relationship chess match. Men and women take their turns making verbal moves -- with the hopes that nobody's going to get rooked. But the truth is that first dates, very often, can be pretty far from the truth, with men and women acting as spinmeisters who do what they can to put their best faces (and personalities) forward. The stats certainly tell us that many people lie on first dates (35 percent of men say they lie about their income, and 35 percent of men also say they lie about their willingness to commit). But if the goal is to determine whether the two of you may be a good match, then part of the process is not just detecting the lies, but also knowing the best things to say-and avoiding the worst. Do that and you'll be well on your way to being the kind of person who will engage, interest, and intrigue your across-the-table mate.

Say This: What do you do for fun?
Not That: What's your job like?
Standard question, sure. But it's one that will elicit a standard answer-good people, I like what I do, blah blah blah. While most will certainly get the employment issue covered, the conversation will be more engaging-and you'll be more appealing-if you try to home in on those outside interests. Certainly skydiving, poodle rescue, or soup kitchens have got to be more interesting than conference calls and Power Points.

Say This: You look fantastic
Not That: Good to see you
It may very well be good to see her, but that greeting is about as vanilla as a McDonald's shake. Instead, it's all about conveying enthusiasm-without having stalker sirens go off. No need for standing ovations, but a simple compliment sets the tone. The tactic isn't just for men to use on women, but can be especially effective in the reverse.

Say This: Got any cool summer trips lined up?
Not That: What do you want to do with your life?
If you sound like you're an HR executive, he's going to feel like a candidate for the position you have open at the moment-boyfriend and potential husband. No matter how much he may dig you, he doesn't want to feel like he's part of some master scheme of how you see your life progressing. He won't mind talking about future plans along the way, as long as your questions revolve around you or around him-not some grand plan.

Say This: How's next Thursday?
Not That: Up to anything interesting this weekend? Want to meet up again soon?Why be coy?
Leave the game-playing for computer solitaire, and you'll come off as confident (and more appealing) by being unafraid to take the initiative. Plus, you'll strike the perfect balance-appearing like you have a busy schedule, but also eager to try a second date. This works especially well for women saying it to men, because men are so used to feeling like they have to make the first, second, and third moves before a relationship gets its bearings.

Say This: Where you headed for vacation? What's on your iPod? Read any good blogs lately?
Not That: Can you believe Sanjaya made it that far?
Current events, pop culture, and hair-boy's shaky voice all make for great conversation-starters-and of course, they can show that you're worldly, smart, and interested in other things besides your own life. But soon after talking about the world at large, you need to find a way to bring it back to the world of your dinner companion.

So what do you guys think? A lot has been written about dating lately and the struggles of first dates. Good advice? Bad advice? Who the heck cares? I want to know what you think, yes, even you who often visits without leaving a comment :)