Thursday, January 25, 2007

2008 will be my year...

I'm exhausted. Physically, mentally and any other "ly" that I can be, I am. I am working 32 hours a week, doing internship 20 hours a week, attending two classes, and then somehow supposed to study. And that doesn't include things like sleeping, eating, paying bills or cleaning (heaven forbid).

So yes, I am tired--all the time. I think that it may also be a little bit of depression (I wouldn't have any idea why!!!!!) and a lot of stress. I made the honor roll last semester. I was able to pull it off. I was very close to Dean's list and was a little disappointed, but I will take the honor roll, thankyouverymuch!

So I graduate in December and was talking to a friend who's also in my program and we agreed that NEXT year will be our year. We'll be done with school, and my schedule will (hopefully) calm down and then (maybe) I'll be able to enjoy some time. I don't want to get so caught up in all this work and school that I don't have time to enjoy life.

Life is short and I've learned that things happen you never expected. Just because life doesn't go the way you plan doesn't mean the world stops. It just keeps on going and expects that eventually you'll wake up and hop back on.

It's almost been two months since we've broken up and I've got to tell you, there were (many) days that I felt that the world had ended and I still have those days (although a lot less than in the beginning). I have realized that he's not coming home from work (at least not here) and that I only need to cook for one. I also don't think that it's him on the phone every time it rings. But those changes take time. And after 3 years, it takes quite a bit of time.

I'd like to think that I'm doing fairly well. I can now sleep in the bed at night by myself (I know it sounds odd to some, but this was a HUGE change for me--some one who had never lived alone before). I no longer wake up every hour because of some noise (read: NOTHING!)

Thank you to those who continue to stop by (those who stop by and don't leave a message too--I'm feeling nice today). I especially want to thank pink chihuahua princess as she leaves me the nicest messages!

So although I know this year will be rough and will have its up and downs, I'm in for the ride. The world hasn't ended (or stopped) and I'm thinking I just may hop back on soon.


Carmen said...

maybe this year won't be so rough. Hey, it just started, so it might surprise you. :) I've decided that 2007 is the year of Carmen! It can be the year of Amy, too.

Breakups suck, but I know you're an amazing woman and you'll get better and better each day. If you need someone to make fun of him with to make you feel better, I'm REALLY good at that. :)

local girl said...

Just think of all the possibilities that life holds for you! I think 2007 will be your year!

Goofy Girl said...

Congrats on the honor roll, I think that's really awesome!!

I'm glad to hear that you're doing ok, you just have to take it one day at a time - breakups are so hard. :) I think that you're doing well considering and you have a very strong spirit inside of you.

I hope that 07 turns out to be a good year for you and then 08 - even better !! :)

Pink Chihuahua Princess said...

Awww...sweetie! Thanks for the shoutout.

I'm glad to hear that you are keeping your feet underneath you okay. Maybe its a blessing that you are so busy right now because that helps keep your mind off other things.

You can email me if you ever need to talk.

Janet said...

I'm glad that things are looking up just a bit. Congrats on the honor roll...with all that you had on your mind, that's fantastic!!!

Amy said...

I found your blog thru goofygirl's-- a friend of mine from college. I broke up with my ex of 3 and a half years and that was really hard and he didn't live with me. The little things that you mention sound the hardest... but it sounds like you are doing really well considering.